Fuelling Longevity: How to make mealtime with grandchildren more enjoyable for all

Getting kids to eat what’s on the menu can be tricky, but becoming a short-order cook is not good for anyone in the long run. There are solutions designed to minimize tensions. Getty Images/iStockphoto

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Spending time with your grandchildren is rewarding, but mealtimes can be challenging. One reader recently asked, “My daughter makes separate meals because my grandchildren won’t eat what the family is having. How do we get them to eat better?” It’s a question I hear often, and the concern behind it is understandable.

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The good news? Mealtimes don’t have to be a battle. The Division of Responsibility in Feeding, developed by registered dietitian Ellyn Satter, focuses on creating a positive feeding relationship without pressuring children to eat.

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Here is the simple idea: Caregivers decide what, when and where food is served. Children decide whether to eat and how much.
This approach trusts children to listen to their hunger and fullness cues. Pressure, bargaining, or encouraging “just one more bite” can interfere with this natural ability and create unnecessary stress around food.

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As both a registered dietitian and mother of three, I know this isn’t always easy to implement. Like many families, we’ve had our share of mealtime challenges — and I wish I had discovered this approach sooner.

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Here are a few practical strategies that can make family meals more enjoyable for everyone:

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Serve regular meals and snacks. Predictable meal and snack times help children come to the table hungry and reduce grazing throughout the day.

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Offer one family meal. Include at least one food your child usually enjoys but avoid becoming a short-order cook by preparing separate meals. (Try this month’s taco bowl recipe to implement the Division of Responsibility)

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Keep offering new foods. It can take 15 to 20 exposures before a child accepts something unfamiliar. Stay patient and matter of fact.
Skip the pressure. Avoid bribing, begging or rewarding children for eating. Praise can sometimes feel like pressure, too.

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Enjoy meals together. Turn off screens, eat as a family whenever possible, and let children learn by watching you enjoy a variety of foods.
Remember, the adult’s job is to provide nourishing food in a supportive environment. The child’s job is to decide whether and how much to eat. For more information on this important subject I encourage you to read Dietitians of Canada (2020) Healthy Tips For Feeding Your Grandchildren at Unlock food.ca

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This advice is for typically developing children; those with medical or feeding concerns may benefit from individualized guidance from a registered dietitian. To connect with one visit the Dietitians of Canada “Find a Dietitian” directory.

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Lucia Weiler is an award-winning Registered Dietitian (RD) in private practice who turns nutrition science into life-changing advice for vibrant living at www.weilernutrition.com.

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Build-Your-Own Taco Bowls

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A family-friendly meal that puts everyone at the same table.

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Time: 20 min
Serves: 4

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1 lb (454 g) lean ground beef or chicken
1 tbsp (10 g) taco seasoning
1/2 cup (125 mL) tomato sauce or water
2 cups (500 mL) cooked brown rice