Nicole Kidman recalls being ‘beyond lonely’ after Oscar win: ‘WHERE’S MY PARTNER?’

Kidman and Tom Cruise, who together adopted Isabella, 33, and Connor, 31, divorced in 2001 after 11 years together

Published Sep 11, 2026  •  Last updated 24 minutes ago  •  3 minute read

Nicole Kidman attends the premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures' "Practical Magic 2" at Directors Village on August 31, 2026 in Los Angeles, California. Photo by Monica Schipper /Getty Images

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That saying about being lonely at the top couldn’t apply better to Nicole Kidman decades ago.

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The actress opened up about one of the sadder moments in her life — on a night where most people would be at an all-time high.

Kidman and her Practical Magic 2 co-star and friend Sandra Bullock appeared on Thursday’s “Therapuss” podcast, where host Jake Shane asked the women how they stay present for the “incredible moments that feel so out of body.”

Kidman recalled the Oscars in 2003, when she took home the Best Actress statuette for her portrayal of Virginia Woolf in The Hours.

“I was beyond lonely,” she revealed. “I had the pinnacle of my success, and I went home and was so lonely.”

“Weird, is what I felt,” she remembered. “I’d love to be able to just, you know, be wrapped in somebody’s arms right now.”

Nicole Kidman accepts her award for Best Actress for her performance in ‘The Hours’ during the 75th Annual Academy Awards at the Kodak Theater on March 23, 2003 in Hollywood, California. (A.M.P.A.S./Getty Images) Photo by A.M.P.A.S. /Getty Images

Kidman and Tom Cruise, who together adopted Isabella, 33, and Connor, 31, divorced in 2001 after 11 years together.

The actress was still recovering from their split, and she admitted she missed having a partner by her side to celebrate the triumphant moment.

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“So, yeah, crazy, though, that’s sort of the confluence of events where you go, ‘I wish.’ I had my mom with me and my dad, but I was like, ‘Where’s my partner, someone that I can share this with?’

“It was one of the most profound moments where I went, ‘I’ve got to get a life,’ and at the same time, I’m holding this gold statue where you go, ‘This is, this is it. This is the highest sort of prize you can get in our industry. I’m so grateful and yet so lonely,’” the Lioness actress added.

“I’d love to be able to just, you know, be wrapped in somebody’s arms right now,” she continued. “I’d love to be around now, something that feels really, ‘Oh, OK, this is my real life.’”

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Getting candid about her exes

Kidman recently spoke about Cruise and how the two “just fell madly in love” on the set of Days of Thunder.

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“I got married so young. Suddenly I was 22, 23 years old and I had this huge movie star husband,” she recounted to British Vogue. “But it just seemed completely natural. We just fell madly in love and it was that simple.”

The Big Little Lies star continued: “I remember people saying to me, ‘OK, well this is really going to affect your career.’ I’m like, ‘I don’t care. I’m in love. I want to be married.’ And then I was his ‘wife’ and they were like, ‘See, we told you.’ I’m like, ‘So what? I wasn’t meant to marry the man I love? Of course I’ll throw my career away. I don’t care.’”

Australian musician Keith Urban (L) and Australian actress Nicole Kidman attend the 49th AFI Life Achievement Award honoring Nicole Kidman at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, California, on April 27, 2024. (Valerie Macon/AFP/Getty Images) Photo by Valerie Macon/AFP /Getty Images

Three years after her lone Oscar win, Kidman married country star Keith Urban, with whom she shares two daughters, Sunday Rose, 18, and 15-year-old Faith Margaret.

Kidman filed for divorce in September 2025, and it was finalized in January.

While she hasn’t detailed their split, she told the publication that she “can still approach things intellectually” but admitted she doesn’t wanted to be ruled by her head.

“I’ve always wanted to live a well-examined life, so what does that entail? Trying things, making mistakes, failing, getting back up, moving on, embracing love, staying open, keeping the heart open and the possibilities.”

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