DEAR ABBY: Spouse is asked to finance grown stepchildren’s inheritance

Home renovation payments trouble an advice-seeker

Published May 05, 2026  •  Last updated 18 minutes ago  •  2 minute read

A home renovation graphic. Photo by Getty Images /Getty Images

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 10 years. We live in a house he already owned before I moved in with him. He wants to make renovations to the house to increase its value. He says the house will go to his four children (all adults) when he passes.

Article content

My issue is, he’s asking me to pay for half of the renovations. To date, I have already paid in full for new windows, new doors and blinds and half the cost to renovate the two bathrooms. Now he’s asking me to pay half of the kitchen renovation. I know I have to put my foot down because it feels like I am funding his children’s inheritance. He says I am being selfish and not working with him to make improvements to “our” home. What’s your take on this? — FAIR OR NOT IN ILLINOIS

Article content

Recommended Videos

Article content

DEAR FAIR OR NOT: My take is that you are right. Save all the receipts for the improvements for which you have paid with the understanding (in writing) that upon his demise, you will be reimbursed for the monies you laid out to raise the value of the house. For guidance, discuss this with a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: I am in love with a married woman who loves me too. We meet up for awesome sex. She refuses to leave her husband out of a strong sense of responsibility. She says she’s afraid that if she does, he will harm himself. She claims they are not having sex because he can’t, even after trying many remedies. I am single and OK with our relationship. Is there something wrong with this? — MEETING A NEED IN WISCONSIN

Article content

DEAR MEETING: If somewhere in the back of your mind you didn’t have an inkling that something might be wrong with this, you wouldn’t have written to me. I don’t know for a fact that the woman’s husband is impotent, and neither do you. While you may feel “gallant” for trying to step into the breach, I know you are being a naughty boy, and so do you. (And so will her husband, when he finds out.)

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago, my mother bought me a dress as a gift. My niece, who I am helping and who is living with me, stole it from me. I let it go and didn’t argue with her because I didn’t want to ruin our relationship. My daughter recently gave me a gift card. The gift card is missing, too, and I’m assuming that my niece took it. What should I do? Should I talk to my brother about it? — STOLEN FROM IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR STOLEN FROM: By all means, talk to your brother about it. And once you have done that, tell your niece she can no longer live with you because you know she took your dress and now a gift card is missing. Tell her you want both returned and to pack her bags because you are rolling up the welcome mat. Your niece has a problem, and you should not be expected to solve it.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Article content