A $400 fine for a backyard bird feeder? | Opinion

OTTAWA - May 15 2024 -- A Red-winged Blackbird flying in Andrew Haydon Park in Ottawa. TONY CALDWELL, Postmedia. Photo by Tony Caldwell /Postmedia

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A Gatineau woman has been warned that her backyard bird feeder could get her a $400 fine — and after picking myself off from the floor, I sat back down in my chair to write a letter congratulating city hall for turning everyone into rabid libertarians. Does life in a modern city really have to be this ridiculous?

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Gatineau, like Ottawa, has a bylaw for the keeping, control, and care of animals within city limits. In Ottawa, it only concerns domestic animals but on the Quebec side, they regulate wildlife as well.

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Call me naive, but when I think of “regulating wildlife” in an urban context my mind goes to prohibiting keeping certain animals in our homes. Like, I don’t know, a cheetah. Or coyotes. There are animals that nobody should have as pets, for reasons that are so obvious I’m feeling queasy writing this down.

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But … backyard birds?

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It turns out Article 54 of the Gatineau bylaw states that “no one shall feed or attract birds on any property.” But in the next sentence it says: “Notwithstanding the first paragraph, feeders are allowed for small birds, such as chickadees, goldfinches and other similar small birds. These feeders must be squirrel-proof and wildlife-proof.”

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You can tell the bylaw drafters intended to set everyone up for failure since it’s an immutable law of the universe that no bird feeder can ever be squirrel-proof. Squirrels literally have nothing to do except think of devious ways to get around baffles and reach the bounty meant for their winged friends. They’re incredibly smart, too, for creatures with brains the size of a roasted pumpkin seed.

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I get that not everyone agrees bird feeders are morally good. When I started grumbling about this news story to Beloved, I discovered that we disagree on the desirability of feeding cardinals. Feeders attract rats, he says. And rats are a problem. I’ve decided not to argue with him and write this column behind his back. That’ll work, right?

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Other people point out that feeding wild animals is not doing them any favours. Earlier this year, Orléans West-Innes Coun. Laura Dudas put forward a motion to regulate wildlife in Ottawa and one of the reasons for the move is precisely that animals fed by humans can become dependent on us.

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Like my kids’ cat, I guess, who would starve to death in five minutes in the wild, having lost every single shred of hunting instinct being spoiled by human slaves since she was but a wee ball of endlessly complaining fur.

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Orléans East-Cumberland Coun. Matt Luloff said food left outside for the cute kind of wildlife can attract rats and mice and those can be a “scourge,” which doesn’t sound like a positive thing. And then there are worries about other — bigger — wildlife like coyotes or bears not being afraid of humans and getting way too close to homes and dogs and babies for comfort.

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Here’s the problem I have with this issue: Instead of helping us understand best practices for humans to be good to animals of all kinds, we’re just hit with unexplained regulations that are not just counterintuitive but cruel, too. The Gatineau woman threatened with the $400 fine for her bird feeder had to explain to her toddler that they might not be able to feed their backyard birdies. This kid will grow up thinking the world is full of awful people.

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It may be that bird feeders aren’t a good thing to have in one’s backyard. But if that’s the case, municipal governments have to do a much better job of explaining why and try to get us to change our well-intentioned ways without hitting us with arbitrarily enforced bylaws and ridiculously heavy fines. Those are only good at turning people into anti-government cranks.

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