Willpower alone doesn’t work. Here’s what does, according to an expert.

It may not be possible to change everything about your circumstances, but Duckworth said we often don't realize how much is within our control.

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Washington Post

Maggie Penman, The Washington Post

Published Sep 27, 2026  •  Last updated 7 minutes ago  •  4 minute read

Michael Phelps competes during the Arena Pro Swim Series in Mesa, Arizona, in 2016. Photo by Jonathan Newton /Jonathan Newton/The Washington Post

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Swimmer Michael Phelps is famous for his work ethic, his incredible drive to succeed and his unusual genetic makeup. He’s won more Olympic medals than any other athlete, most of them gold.

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But if you widen the aperture, you see his coach, Bob Bowman, giving him the confidence to succeed. You see his mother, Debbie Phelps, finding swimming as an outlet for her son’s endless energy. And it didn’t hurt that Phelps happened to grow up 10 minutes from one of the best training centers in the country, the North Baltimore Aquatic Club.

“I spent the first half of my career studying individual effort and its importance to success,” said psychologist Angela Duckworth. “And I think that is important, but it’s not everything.”

Duckworth, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania, is best known for her book on “grit” – which she defines as passion and perseverance toward long-term goals. She pointed to Phelps as an example of grit because of his extreme dedication to his sport. But he – and everyone else who finds success – had to be in the right situation with the right people for that effort to pay off.

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In her new book, Situated: Find the People and Places That Bring Out Your Best, Duckworth explains the research on what it takes to reach our goals, and why we shouldn’t try to muscle through challenges with willpower alone. Here’s what she said to do instead.

It may not be possible to change everything about your circumstances, but Duckworth said we often don’t realize how much is within our control.

For example, in a new survey from Pew, more than half of American adults say they spend too much time on their phones. The number is even higher for younger adults. Many respondents have tried to cut back with little success.

Duckworth said many people make New Year’s resolutions to spend less time on their phone, but continue to charge their phones next to their bed (as nearly 8 in 10 Americans do, according to a survey from YouGov in 2025.) If your plan is to essentially use willpower to look at your phone less, it likely won’t work.

“What my research shows is that it’s far more effective and also far less exhausting to change the situation,” Duckworth said.

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So if you want to spend less time on your phone, charge it in another room. If you want to exercise in the morning, put your workout clothes next to your bed. If you want to eat less of a certain type of food, don’t keep it easily within reach.

“Essentially, use physical distance to create psychological distance,” Duckworth said. “Don’t rely on mental force of will.”

In Duckworth’s research, young adults who were encouraged to change their situation were more successful at reaching a goal than those who only used self-discipline – and they experienced less temptation in the process.

Looking at some of world’s most successful people, from Phelps to Taylor Swift, she said everyone needs help from peers, mentors and friends to stay motivated and accountable.

In her book, Duckworth examines the success of a start-up incubator that was behind companies like Dropbox, Airbnb and Reddit. Unlike some other venture capital firms, it funded companies in groups so the founders had support and guidance.

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“We really need a feeling like we’re doing things in a group,” Duckworth said.

People are more likely to reach goals when they work together, she said, explaining that people enjoy being asked for help more than we might think.

Her daughters live near each other and have started going to the gym together.

“You kind of have to show up for the other person,” Duckworth said. “But also it makes it more fun.”

Duckworth said the need for outside support also applies to problems, even though it can be harder to ask for help. She and her husband hit a rocky period in their marriage, she said, and it wasn’t until they “called in the cavalry” that things got better, with the support of family, friends and therapy.

“It was humbling for me to admit that I couldn’t work it out,” Duckworth said. “We overcame this strong sense that asking for help was like an admission of failure.”

That experience didn’t just change her marriage. It also changed the way both she and her husband approached their work.

Duckworth decided she wouldn’t do research alone any more, she instead works with other scientists as collaborators. And her husband, the president of his real estate company, put together an advisory board of trusted mentors to help him make better decisions.

“Find ways to make your situation your ally. And don’t be ashamed of it,” Duckworth said. “I think that to me is the perspective shift that has personally made a difference.”

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