DEAR ABBY: Stepdaughter’s gift for dad hurts her stepmom’s feelings

Published Jan 12, 2025  •  Last updated 0 minutes ago  •  3 minute read

A woman is unhappy with a family album gift given by her stepdaughter. Photo by file photo /Getty Images

DEAR ABBY: My stepdaughter “Annie” gave my husband a photo album of his life for his 80th birthday. The album included pictures of his parents and grandparents as well as photos from his first marriage — to Annie’s mother. She included one picture of their wedding and two more of them posing as a loving couple. She included few pictures of me, even though her dad and I have been married for more than 40 of his 80 years. A photograph from our wedding was not included.

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I love Annie. We get along well, and I am very hurt that she included those two pictures of the “loving couple.” I feel it was inappropriate for an album she expects to be displayed in our home for family, friends and neighbours to see. I would like to ask her to reprint the album without those two pictures. Am I being unreasonable? — STEPMOM IN THE SOUTH

DEAR STEPMOM: Because you have a good relationship with Annie, explain to her that you felt slighted when you saw the album, and why. Explain that you would like to be able to prominently display it IF she would please either have it reprinted with the addition of a couple of photos of you and your husband together, or with only the wedding picture of her parents. This shouldn’t be difficult to do.

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DEAR ABBY: My 8-year-old nephew accidentally fell on my dog, who then reacted and snapped at him, leaving a small puncture mark on his arm. We immediately removed the dog and apologized to my nephew, who was riddled with guilt because he knew he caused it. Because it was an accident, I told my nephew it was OK.

Weeks later, my sister and I realized that my brother hasn’t responded to any of our daily text messages or Facebook posts. When we see him in person, he is fine. He jokes with us and even plans to rent a storage unit with us for our grandparents’ stuff. But then he ignores our text messages.

We told our mother he has been ignoring us for quite some time. He admitted to her that he’s super annoyed with the whole family for not training our dog not to react when he gets hit. I now feel my brother’s purposefully bad behaviour is worse than the accident. What do you think? — SIS WHO WANTS HARMONY

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DEAR SIS: What happened to your nephew was an accident. Your brother’s behaviour is passive-aggressive and childish. I think you should ignore it and quit texting him and commenting on his Facebook posts for a while. A long while. Don’t you?

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DEAR ABBY: I am a divorced woman who has recently decided to jump back into the dating pool. However, five years ago, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. I am in treatment and doing well. When and how would I tell someone I’m seeing that I have cancer? — READY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR READY: The time to reveal your medical diagnosis would be when the relationship becomes romantic. It would be dishonest to withhold that information from someone who is investing emotionally in you.

— Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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