DEAR ABBY: Co-worker’s presence makes potential suitor uncomfortable

Published Apr 22, 2026  •  Last updated 18 minutes ago  •  3 minute read

A drag queen with creative makeup with glitters posing for the camera. Photo by Yakobchuk Olena /Getty Images

DEAR ABBY: There’s a girl I really like, “Torie,” who has a certain enthusiasm for me that few, if any people, have had. I have taken her seriously, but she works in a store where there’s a drag queen who looks so much like a female that I find it disturbing. This person often wears revealing clothing. As much as I like Torie, I do my best to ignore her co-worker when this person is in the store. What do I do if I think the girl I like could be the one for me, but I’m wary of the company she keeps? — CONDITIONAL IN MARYLAND

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DEAR CONDITIONAL: Start honestly analyzing what it is about Torie’s co-worker that makes you “uncomfortable.” Has this person come on to you? Are you on some level attracted to this person? Torie’s co-worker is hurting no one by expressing (and dressing as) the person this person is. If you haven’t already, talk with Torie about this. She may be able to explain it to you. However, if you can’t be comfortable around the person, it will be time for you to move on.

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DEAR ABBY: My son is 41 and a recovering drug addict. Currently, he’s sober, but he believes he is in an online relationship with a famous actress who is 23 years old. He lives with me and has nothing. He works part time at a local grocery store and sends her money every week via a gift card or something of the sort.

I have tried everything I can to convince him he is being scammed. How can I prove this to him? I am not able to kick him out. He has nowhere to go. He would be on the street. Please advise and help me. I need my life back. — MOM OF A MANCHILD IN THE EAST

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DEAR MOM: Famous actresses do not need gift cards from their admirers, so the chances are GREAT that your needy and gullible son is being scammed. The gift card is the tip-off. The next step for you would be to contact the police department in your community and ask for help in convincing your son he is being scammed. If “she” is scamming him in this way, it is probably happening to many others.

DEAR ABBY: My close friend (we are both in our late 50s) tells me her friends go into every intimate detail with her about their sex lives. She said they tell her everything. Every once in a while, she’ll ask me about mine, but I feel this is a private matter between my partner and me. Am I wrong?

I feel awkward sharing this personal information because I’m sure her friends gossip. Our sex lives are undoubtedly different due to previous illnesses, etc. She even asks me if we have toys! Am I wrong to feel this way? — MODEST IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MODEST: You are not wrong. Not everyone is comfortable sharing the intimate details of their sex lives. If this woman is telling you about her own, as well as the preferences of her other friends, she can’t be trusted not to share your information. The word from here is to keep your lip zipped.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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