Wright: How to support Ottawa families who grieve over the holidays

Grief is a lifelong journey, but it doesn’t have to be a lonely one. The holidays may magnify the pain, but they also hold opportunities for healing.

Published Dec 27, 2024  •  Last updated 0 minutes ago  •  3 minute read

Megan Wright is the Executive Director at Ottawa's Roger Neilson Children's Hospice. Photo by JULIE OLIVER /Postmedia

The holiday season brings to mind warmth, joy and togetherness. But for those grieving the loss of a loved one, this time of year can feel profoundly isolating. Here in Ottawa, we see families facing these challenges daily, and it’s a reminder that grief touches all of us in deeply personal ways.

At Roger Neilson Children’s Hospice, we support families navigating the death of a child or someone significant in their lives by fostering connection and creating space for grief. Earlier this month, we hosted our annual holiday memorial ceremony, which welcomed more than 60 people to reflect, create and honour their loved ones. Families shared stories, decorated our tree with personal mementos, and participated in creative activities such as crafting ornaments to symbolize their unique memories. These moments of connection remind us that grief is not something to be fixed but is to be honoured.

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One family, for instance, finds solace in donating toys to the hospice — gifts they imagined their child would have loved to have received each year. Others share how hanging their child’s favourite ornament or preparing their favourite recipes, brings the family comfort. These acts may seem small, but they are profound gestures of love and remembrance.

For those supporting someone grieving, your role is invaluable. It begins with acknowledging the person’s loss. Say the loved one’s name, share a memory together, or simply ask, “How are you doing today?” Small gestures, such as offering a meal or inviting them for coffee, can go a long way. If you’re hosting an event, invite them along, but let them know what will happen and who will be there, so you can give them clear expectations. Let them know it’s OK if they choose not to come. Grief is unpredictable, and flexibility is important in order to be supportive.

In Ottawa, we are fortunate to have a strong network of resources for grieving families. For example, there is a locally produced podcast “The Coping Toolbox” that is dedicated to exploring grief, sorrow and healing. The podcast features expert interviews and heartfelt stories from families, offering guidance and solidarity to people who are navigating their grief. Additionally, organizations like Bereaved Families of Ontario and the Canadian Virtual Hospice provide invaluable support through workshops, events and educational materials.

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Ottawa’s community is incredibly diverse and it’s important to recognize this when supporting people in grief. Many families in our city observe cultural or religious traditions that differ from mainstream holidays. By educating ourselves about these practices and extending the same care and understanding at all times of the year, we can create a more inclusive and supportive community for those in mourning.

For those currently grieving, my advice is to be kind to yourself. There is no “right” way to grieve, and it’s OK to say no to events or traditions that feel overwhelming. Protect your energy and focus on what brings you comfort, whether that’s continuing cherished traditions, creating new ones, or simply finding quiet moments to reflect.

Grief is a lifelong journey, but it doesn’t have to be a lonely one. The community we’ve built at the hospice is a testament to the strength of connection. This year alone, our free grief support programs have served hundreds of families, and we’ve expanded to serve not only children who have lost a sibling but those who have experienced the death of anyone significant in their lives. The feedback we receive reminds us that even small efforts — a podcast episode, a memorial ceremony, or a single supportive conversation — can make an enormous difference.

The holidays may magnify the pain of loss, but they also hold opportunities for healing. By reaching out to one another, honouring those we’ve lost, and embracing the support around us, we can navigate grief together, one step at a time.

Megan Wright is the Executive Director of Roger Neilson Children’s Hospice, dedicated to supporting children and families through compassionate end-of-life and grief care.

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