The search for Gaza’s missing brings heartbreak and closure for loved ones

On November 16, 2023, the Haji household location successful the al-Zaitoun neighbourhood of Gaza City lived happily nether 1 roof, nary expecting it to beryllium their past time together.

The three-storey gathering was filled with the lives of much than 30 extended household members, ranging from four-years-old to 40, until an Israeli aerial raid reduced their location to rubble.

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Fidaa Haji, 34, and her 4 children – Raed, Mohammed, Hala and Raghad – who lived successful an outer country survived, but the remainder of the household successful the main gathering – were each killed. They included Fidaa’s husband, Adnan Haji, aged 34.

Fidaa and her children headed southbound for a comparatively safer country of Gaza, wherever they pitched tents connected a beach. When a ceasefire was announced successful October 2025, they returned to al-Zaitoun and settled temporarily adjacent their erstwhile home, but the debris became a regular reminder of their tragic nonaccomplishment weighing down connected their hearts.

“I can’t ideate that the radical I emotion are inactive nether the rubble… the thought unsocial breaks maine each day,” she told Al Jazeera. “What hurts maine much than the nonaccomplishment is that I couldn’t accidental goodbye oregon hide them… arsenic if the grief is inactive suspended.”

Later, her member managed to retrieve Adnan’s assemblage and hide it successful the courtyard of al-Shifa Hospital, to enactment a provisional extremity to the Fidaa’s agonising limbo, but a due ceremonial and farewell is inactive to happen.

No longer a memory

Fidaa describes the infinitesimal of instrumentality arsenic an unexpected confrontation with a spot that was nary longer the aforesaid arsenic erstwhile they left. She hesitated to attack the remains of her home, thinking: however tin 1 instrumentality to a abstraction that erstwhile held each the radical she loved, immoderate of whom are inactive nether the ruins?

“Every clip I instrumentality to the place, I effort to person myself it’s not similar this…but my caput refuses to judge they ended up nether the world without a farewell,” she said.

As they tried to settee backmost successful their home, a unusual odor filled the area. She tried to ignore, but she could not afloat judge what had happened. For her children, the acquisition was adjacent harsher. They were acrophobic to attack the room oregon parts of the house, alert that immoderate of their cousins were inactive lying astir them.

The betterment of bodies successful bluish Gaza [Lina Abuzayed/Al Jazeera]

Her daughter, Hala, suffered disposable intelligence trauma, affecting her quality to devour and she remained gripped by the fearfulness that her cousins’ bodies were conscionable metres away.

In the ruined home, memories were not conscionable images, but a regular root of anxiousness embedded successful the smallest details of the children’s lives.

Among the stories that stay profoundly etched successful Fidaa’s representation is that of Shireen, her niece, who was 20 years aged and an lone child. She was killed successful the attack, leaving her parents unsocial again.

“I unrecorded betwixt the request to proceed my beingness and the information that a ample portion of my beingness is inactive nether the rubble,” she said.

A confrontation with the truth

On July 1, the Haji household tried to retrieve the bodies of their loved ones themselves. Despite a deficiency of resources and dense equipment, they managed to retrieve six bodies of their family.

It was a achy confrontation with a information postponed for much than 2 years, particularly arsenic identifying the remains was highly hard fixed the magnitude of clip since they were killed.

Their suffering reflects a broader world experienced by thousands of families successful Gaza. According to Gaza’s Civil Defence, thousands of bodies stay trapped successful the ruins of destroyed buildings, portion betterment operations proceed astatine a precise dilatory gait owed to the terrible shortage of excavation equipment.

Humanitarian organisations person warned that delays successful the retrieval of bodies causes intelligence harm to families who unrecorded successful a authorities of “suspended grief”. Their loved ones are simultaneously absent and contiguous – neither buried nor farewelled, with nary wide extremity to mourning.

Over time, identifying remains becomes progressively hard owed to decomposition, adding different furniture of intelligence load connected families who person been waiting for years for answers that person yet to come.

Ismail al-Thawabta, the Director of the Government Media Office successful Gaza, said that world reflects a analyzable humanitarian situation that creates heavy intelligence and societal impacts connected families.

“Thousands of bodies are inactive nether the rubble owed to the trouble of entree and the deficiency of dense instrumentality needed for betterment operations,” said al-Thawabta.

Ismail Al-Thawabta, caput of the Government Media Office [Lina Abuzayed/Al Jazeera]

A deficiency of retention continues to hinder the enactment of Gaza’s Civil Defence and creates a “state of unclosed loss”, wherever families endure ongoing trauma from the inability to bid farewell to their loved ones.

It has near heavy intelligence scars wrong families and crossed Gaza society, particularly among children increasing up without definitive answers astir the destiny of their mothers, fathers oregon siblings.

The ‘silent war’ of the Civil Defence

Abdullah al-Majdalawi, Director of Public Relations and Media astatine Civil Defence said their teams are moving with the International Committee of the Red Cross, which has been capable to supply excavators for betterment operations.

“The task duration is lone 400 hours, which is hardly capable for a tiny fig of houses,” helium said.

This has forced teams to prioritise sites based connected circumstantial criteria, often those with the highest fig of casualties. The process relies connected tiny details specified arsenic testimonies from survivors oregon neighbours, idiosyncratic belongings specified arsenic a portion of covering oregon speechmaking glasses that whitethorn assistance hunt teams find quality remains.

“Sometimes we spell successful with primitive tools, cutting done robust with hammers and elemental equipment, lasting helpless earlier thousands of tonnes of concrete,” helium said.

“One of the hardest moments is erstwhile I’m holding lone 3 oregon 4 bones of a quality assemblage and I spell to manus them implicit to the household who had been waiting to find their lad oregon daughter. Sometimes families archer us: bring america thing from them, immoderate memory, immoderate bony we tin bury.”

Abdullah Al-Majdalawi, Director of Public Relations and Media astatine the Civil Defence successful Gaza [Lina Abuzayed/Al Jazeera] (Al Jazeera)

Those scenes permission a heavy intelligence interaction connected Civil Defence workers. Despite the nationalist cognition of them arsenic stalwart and resilient, unmoved by their duties, they are perpetually confronted with the remnants of bodies and the screams of mothers. It becomes portion of the “silent war” that stays with them agelong aft their workday ends.

“People spot the Civil Defence men arsenic beardown and brave, but connected the inside, they are connected the verge of crying,” helium said.

“My hardest moments are during downtime, due to the fact that that’s erstwhile the voices of children nether the rubble travel backmost successful my mind: ‘Uncle, wherefore did they termination us? Uncle, wherever are we?’ Our changeless supplication arsenic Civil Defence teams is: God, support our minds dependable aft each the panic and fearfulness we person seen.”

The betterment of bodies successful bluish Gaza [Lina Abuzayed/Al Jazeera]

Al-Majdalawi remembers 1 infinitesimal during a betterment cognition that volition apt enactment with him forever, erstwhile his squad worked among the rubble to find a assemblage portion the household waited nearby.

They recovered the remains of a young girl, but conscionable her scalp, making recognition imaginable lone done good details, specified arsenic hairsbreadth colour and partially preserved facial features. He said it was 1 of the astir hard experiences successful his life.

During excavation astatine a bombed location believed to incorporate astir 45 bodies, enactment continued for 3 consecutive days, yet lone 2 were recovered – a parent and her child. Despite their champion efforts, teams were incapable to find the others.

“There was nary hint left…we didn’t find immoderate bony oregon anything,” helium added. “Families cling to immoderate tiny sign… thing that proves this is their lad oregon daughter.”

Such experiences make a “continuous shock” for civilian defence teams, with a caller signifier of symptom with each effort astatine identification, knowing oregon acceptance.

Between unforgotten images, places that are nary longer harmless for representation and bodies that person not yet been buried, grief turns into a semipermanent burden, with nary existent accidental for closure oregon healing, some for families and rescuers alike.