DEAR ABBY: Mother-in-law’s tardy apology gets no response

Published Sep 05, 2024  •  Last updated 0 minutes ago  •  3 minute read

A mother wants to mend her relationship with her son-in-law. Photo by file photo /Getty Images

DEAR ABBY: My son-in-law and I had words five years ago. Two years ago, I wrote him a letter of apology and told him it was always “family first.” My daughter confirmed he received the letter.

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They recently had their fourth child. We haven’t seen their first since he was 2 or the second since she was born, and we’ve seen the third only once. I don’t know how to repair this situation. My daughter and I chat only when her husband is not around. She’s a police officer, and I don’t want to cause her any stress that could affect her on the job. He has blocked me on social media as well as my phone calls. What can I do? — SORRY MOTHER-IN-LAW IN THE EAST

DEAR SORRY: That must have been some argument you had with your son-in-law. What took you three years to apologize? If he no longer wants anything to do with you, no one can force him, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to see the children when he’s not around. If you haven’t already suggested this to your daughter, give it a try.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a 37-year-old woman with a very supportive husband. I love him dearly, but I have some concerns. We have no children although we tried for years. Then I found out I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). I can still have a child, but now, because of my age, a bad back and a bad knee, I have kind of given up. My husband and I are overweight, though I am trying to lose weight. It’s hard. I also suffer from depression. Am I doing the right thing by giving up and putting myself first? — STRUGGLING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STRUGGLING: It is important to put yourself first. Before deciding whether to bring a child into this world, you need to get yourself back in shape physically and emotionally. Once that’s done, you will be in a better position to decide whether you are equal to the responsibilities of motherhood.

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DEAR ABBY: I have known “Mona” for 25 years and thought we were friends. She bought some patio furniture from me but still owes me $100. When I tried to contact her about it, she blocked me. I wanted to post this on Facebook without saying her name, but I’m taking the high road.

We’ve never had arguments, and I don’t understand her behaviour. Mona is the one always saying, “I love you” and “I’m praying for you,” and then she pulls this? She has lied to me in the past, but I never called her on it because it didn’t matter to me. What are your thoughts? — TURNING POINT IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TURNING POINT: When you first realized that Mona was lying to you, you SHOULD have called her on it and revised your opinion of her. Mona appears to be not only a hypocrite but also a user. Be glad the lesson you have learned has cost you only $100 because it could have cost you more. As to my thoughts, I think you should stay far away from Mona and find friends who understand that friendship is reciprocal.

— Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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