DEAR ABBY: Drunk, handsy brother-in-law creates a mess within family

Published Sep 07, 2024  •  Last updated 0 minutes ago  •  2 minute read

Unwanted advances from a sibling's partner has caused a rift in the family. Photo by file photo /Getty Images

DEAR ABBY: My sister’s fiance, “Logan,” always seemed very flirtatious with me. I told her she needed to control her future husband. After they were married, the same gestures and innuendos kept happening, and I reminded my sister about it. Logan did and said inappropriate things right in front of her. Once she even commented, “Geez, you married the wrong sister!”

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The night of my father’s funeral dinner, everyone was getting tipsy. (I don’t drink.) Twice, in front of his wife and our sister-in-law, Logan pulled me tightly close into his hips. I told him to stop. He said, “OK, you are in enough trouble.”

Later, while I was in the kitchen, in front of my uncle and brother, Logan pulled me into his chest. I pulled away and he came after me. I told him to stay away. Tension was already high between my sister and me. After dinner, when everyone was leaving, Logan came and tapped on my windshield, pointed at me and said, “You, you, you.”

That evening, I sent him a text, saying, “Perhaps you DID choose the wrong sister.” Of course, he showed it to my sister. Now there’s a huge rift in the family, and I’M the “bad guy.” And although the hands-on game took place in front of everyone, nobody saw anything during Dad’s funeral dinner because everyone was drunk. Someday, the truth will reveal itself. For now, I must eat crow. Any advice, Abby? — PUNISHED IN PENNSYLVANIA

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DEAR PUNISHED: Your mistake was in not shouting “NO!” the first time Logan assaulted you. Avoid any family gathering that includes alcohol. Avoid Logan and your sister as often as possible. Enroll in a self-defence class so that if anyone puts their hands on you, you can defend yourself. And last, if Logan catches you alone, tell him that if it happens again, you will report him to the police for assault — because that is what he has been doing to you.

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DEAR ABBY: My husband of 42 years passed away a year and a half ago. He was a talented singer. Five months before he died, while he was still well enough to sing, two young ladies came to our home with a keyboard and microphones and recorded him singing worship songs. This was supposed to be so that his grandsons, who would be very young when he passed, would be able to hear him in the future. These young women were considered close family friends for many years.

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They have now cut all ties with me and won’t respond to any of my requests for the recording. I am hurt beyond words because we loved them like family. One of them just released an album of worship songs. She had tried for several years to get my husband to work on it with her. What should I do? — SINGING A SAD SONG

DEAR SINGING: What you should do now is consult an attorney and share what happened. At the very least, you should get the recording and, if they have profited financially from it, a portion of the money.

— Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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