Al-Shifa was a dream and a nightmare

When I started studying nursing astatine Al Azhar University, I knew I wanted to enactment astatine al-Shifa Hospital. It was my dream.

It was the biggest, astir prestigious infirmary successful the Gaza Strip. Some of the champion doctors and nurses successful Palestine worked there. Various overseas aesculapian missions would travel and supply grooming and attraction determination arsenic well.

Many radical from the northbound to the southbound of the Gaza Strip sought aesculapian assistance astatine al-Shifa. The sanction of the infirmary means “healing” successful Arabic and indeed, it was a spot of healing for the Palestinians of Gaza.

In 2020, I graduated from nursing schoolhouse and tried to find a occupation successful the backstage sector. After respective short-term jobs, I got into al-Shifa arsenic a unpaid nurse.

I loved my occupation astatine the exigency section precise much. I went to enactment with passionateness and affirmative vigor each day. I would conscionable patients with a wide smile, hoping to relieve immoderate of their pain. I ever loved to perceive patients’ prayers for maine successful gratitude.

In the exigency department, we were 80 nurses successful full – some women and men – and we were each friends. In fact, immoderate of my closest friends were colleagues astatine the hospital. Alaa was 1 of them. We did shifts unneurotic and went retired for java extracurricular of work. She was a beauteous miss who was precise benignant and loved by everyone.

A photograph of Alaa, the author’s precocious friend, who was killed by Israeli bombardment of Beit Lahiya; it was taken connected June 29, 2022 [Courtesy of Hadeel Awad]

It was specified friendships and the comradery among the unit that helped maine propulsion done erstwhile the warfare started.

From the precise archetypal day, the infirmary became overwhelmed with casualties. After my archetypal displacement ended that day, I stayed successful the nurses’ country crying for an hr implicit everything we had been done and each the injured radical I had seen suffering.

Within days determination were much than a 1000 wounded and martyrs successful the hospital. The much radical were brought in, the harder we worked, trying to prevention lives.

I ne'er expected that this fearfulness would past for much than a month. But it did.

Soon, the Israeli service called my household and told america that we needed to permission our location successful Gaza City. I faced a hard choice: to beryllium with my household successful this horrific clip oregon to beryllium with the patients who needed maine the most. I decided to stay.

A photograph of the writer taken connected October 9, 2023 astatine al-Shifa Hospital [Courtesy of Hadeel Awad]

I bid farewell to my household who fled southbound to Rafah and I stayed down successful al-Shifa Hospital, which became my 2nd home. Alaa stayed down arsenic well. We supported and comforted each other.

In aboriginal November, the Israeli service told america to evacuate the infirmary and laid a siege to it. Our aesculapian supplies started to dwindle. We were rapidly moving retired of substance for our energy generators that were keeping life-saving instrumentality going.

Perhaps the astir heartbreaking infinitesimal was erstwhile we ran retired of substance and oxygen and we could nary longer support the premature babies we had successful our attraction successful the incubators. We had to relocate them to an operating country wherever we tried to support them warm. They were struggling to respire and we had nary oxygen to assistance them. We mislaid 8 guiltless babies. I retrieve sitting and crying for a agelong clip that time for those guiltless souls.

Then connected November 15, Israeli soldiers stormed the complex. The onslaught came arsenic a shock. As a aesculapian facility, it was expected to beryllium protected nether planetary law, but that intelligibly did not halt the Israeli army.

Just earlier the raid, our medication told america that they had received a telephone that the Israelis were astir to tempest the aesculapian complex. We rapidly closed the gross of the exigency section and gathered wrong astir the nursing table successful the mediate of it, not knowing what to do. The adjacent day, we saw Israeli soldiers surrounding the building. We could not permission and we were moving retired of aesculapian supplies. We struggled to supply attraction to the patients we had with us.

A photograph of a azygous repast that respective nurses shared during the siege connected al-Shifa Hospital [Courtesy of Hadeel Awad]

We had nary nutrient oregon h2o left. I retrieve feeling dizzy and astir fainting. I had not eaten thing for 3 days. We mislaid immoderate patients due to the fact that of the siege and the Israeli raid.

On November 18, Dr Mohammad Abu Salmiya, al-Shifa’s director, came to archer america that the Israelis had ordered the full aesculapian analyzable to beryllium evacuated. If I had a choice, I would person stayed, but the Israeli service did not permission maine one.

Hundreds of us, doctors and nurses, were forced to leave, on with galore patients. Only astir 2 twelve unit stayed down with bed-ridden patients who could not beryllium moved. Dr Abu Salmiya besides stayed down and was arrested respective days later. He disappeared for the adjacent 7 months.

I, on with dozens of colleagues caput southbound per Israeli orders. Alaa and a fewer others defied these orders and headed northbound to their families. We walked for galore kilometres and passed Israeli checkpoints, wherever we were made to hold for hours, until we were capable to find a donkey cart that could transport america immoderate of the way.

When we yet arrived successful Rafah, I was beyond blessed to spot my family. There was a batch of crying and relief. But the happiness of being with my household was soon overshadowed by shocking news.

Alaa was capable to instrumentality to her household successful Beit Lahiya, who had been displaced successful a schoolhouse shelter. But erstwhile she and her member went to their abandoned location to retrieve immoderate belongings, an Israeli rocket deed the gathering and they were martyred.

The quality of her decease came arsenic an tremendous shock. A twelvemonth later, I inactive unrecorded with the symptom of losing my adjacent person – 1 of the sweetest radical I had ever known who loved to assistance others and who was ever determination to comfortableness maine successful hard moments.

A photograph of the exigency section of al-Shifa Hospital taken connected October 31, 2023 [Courtesy of Hadeel Awad]

In March, Israeli soldiers returned to al-Shifa. For 2 weeks, they rampaged done the hospital, leaving down decease and devastation. Not a gathering was near successful the aesculapian analyzable that was not damaged oregon burned down. From a spot of healing, al-Shifa was transformed into a graveyard.

I bash not cognize however I volition consciousness erstwhile I spot the infirmary again. How volition I consciousness knowing that the spot of my champion nonrecreational achievements and dearest moments shared with colleagues besides became a spot of death, forced disappearances and displacement?

Today, much than a twelvemonth aft I mislaid my workplace, I unrecorded successful a structure and attraction for the sick successful a makeshift clinic. My future, our aboriginal is uncertain. But successful the caller year, I person a dream: to spot al-Shifa arsenic it utilized to beryllium – expansive and beautiful.

The views expressed successful this nonfiction are the author’s ain and bash not needfully bespeak Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.